Breakups are never easy, and our online presence can make them even harder to navigate. Imagine scrolling through your social media feed, only to be hit with a post from your ex that makes your heart sink. Maybe it’s a photo of them smiling, a status update about how “great” life is, or, the worst of all, a glimpse into their new relationship. It’s a gut punch, an emotional setback just when you thought you were starting to heal. Sound familiar?
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Checking Social Media After a Breakup
For many, social media becomes an emotional minefield after a breakup. That constant exposure to an ex’s life can create a painful cycle that’s hard to break. Some of our clients have admitted that they find themselves obsessively checking their ex’s social media, trying to piece together what went wrong or searching for clues about how their ex is feeling. “Are they sad? Are they moving on? Are they happier without me?” These questions can haunt you, and the answers, real or imagined, can sting even more.
The truth is, this habit of checking and re-checking doesn’t help. In fact, it can make things worse. A 2015 study published in Cyberpsychology, Behavior, and Social Networking found that regularly stalking an ex’s social media prolongs the healing process and increases feelings of distress. It’s like reopening a wound every time it starts to scab over.
And let’s not forget the role social media algorithms play in all of this. These platforms are designed to keep you engaged, even if it’s at the expense of your well-being. If you’ve been lingering on your ex’s posts, rewatching old videos, or even clicking on content related to heartbreak, the algorithms will take note.
Before you know it, your feed is flooded with posts about relationships, breakup advice, or worse, updates from your ex. It’s like the internet is conspiring to keep you stuck in the pain.
This is where it’s crucial to take back control. Use that “Not Interested” button liberally. Mute, unfollow, or even block your ex if you need to. Remember, you’re not being petty or dramatic, you’re protecting your own mental health.
Why Staying Away is Key to Healing
Healing requires distance, whether it’s physical, emotional, or digital. It’s hard to move on when you’re constantly reminded of what you’ve lost. That’s why muting, unfollowing, or blocking your ex, even just temporarily, can be one of the healthiest decisions you make. These tools exist for a reason, so don’t hesitate to use them.
Some people worry that taking these steps might seem immature or overly dramatic, but the truth is, it’s not about them, it’s about you. It’s about giving yourself the space to grieve, process, and eventually move forward. Healing is a messy, nonlinear process. Some days you’ll feel strong and ready to take on the world; other days, you might feel lost, hurt, or unsure of how to move forward. And that’s okay.
Instead of focusing on what your ex is doing, try shifting your attention inward. What do you need right now? Maybe it’s spending time with friends who lift you up, diving into a hobby you’ve been neglecting, or even just allowing yourself to feel your emotions without judgment.
Reclaiming Your Online Space
Your social media feed should be a place that uplifts and inspires you, not one that keeps you trapped in the past. Take some time to curate your online environment. Follow accounts that bring you joy, make you laugh, or inspire you to grow. Whether it’s travel bloggers, motivational speakers, or cute dog accounts, surround yourself with content that makes you feel good.
And don’t forget to take breaks from social media altogether. Sometimes, the best way to heal is to step away from the noise and reconnect with the real world. Go for a walk, call a friend, or try journaling about your feelings. The digital world will still be there when you’re ready, but for now, prioritise your well-being.
Final Thoughts
Breakups are hard enough without the added pressure of seeing your ex’s life play out on your screen. Remember, healing takes time, and it’s okay to set boundaries, both online and offline. Be kind to yourself, and don’t be afraid to take the steps you need to move forward. You deserve to heal, grow, and eventually, find happiness again.
So, the next time you’re tempted to check your ex’s profile, pause and ask yourself: “Is this helping me?” Chances are, the answer will be clear.
Please note that this blog post by Personal Psychology, psychologists in North Sydney is not intended to provide professional advice. If you or someone you know is experiencing mental health difficulties, it is important to seek help from a qualified healthcare professional.
